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Some submissive men dream of entering an alternative relationship with a woman who becomes known as their Mistress. The dream for most men, however, rarely becomes a reality. These men pour over mistress looking for slave personal. They numerous expensive dating sites for the alternative community. All to no avail. The sad fact is, there are more men wishing to enter this kind of relationship than there are like-minded women.


Thanks for your question. Six years is a long time to be living with this kind of uncertainty!

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And not only is this situation more common than you might realize, but the concept of certainty, or security, is often at the heart of this existential dilemma—which is something all of us want and need, though it often proves elusive. There may be guilttoo, or most likely a mixture of conflicting feelings and desires. Take what you like and ignore the rest.

But just know that this kind of thing happens more often than is discussed for obvious reasons. There is a safety i. To be chosen over another appears to be a reversal of abandonment that lands us on solid relational ground at last.

We can then finally create or co-create the well-founded home we have dreamed about.

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But how solid is it? I would suggest doing this before going to your husband to verbalize any concerns. It can be disconcerting that certain fears never go away. We learn to live with them, tolerate them, but they can never be banished, especially if we experienced relational traumas early on, such as abandonment, neglect, or abuse. There is never such a guarantee, actually. The traumatizedwounded part of ourselves needs to be heard, and this is, in part, a way of announcing itself.

Of course, certain qualities or behaviors of our partner may stoke these fears, but if we truly, at the core, did not trust this person, we would never have pursued him or her.

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That same respect is due us, since I believe that the majority of us are not malevolent and are, in the main, doing the best we can. Why not give the relationship a chance? It probably has a better chance if you take the risk of trusting him; otherwise, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy where fear and anxiety suffocate any chance you might have. I appreciate you indulging me in this as I work on myself. Who are you seeing? What are you up to? In a way, we need these types of things to show us where the healing needs to occur. The danger is in expecting that a relationship can supplant past injuries.

Vulnerability is inevitable. Paradoxically, making peace with the worst of the past seems tied to a more secure future. Thanks again for writing. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Always questioning and second guessing his moves because I would always think that if he did it to someone else then I suppose he could do it to me too.

If you marry a cheater, then you are married to a cheater, and you know it. She might reassure herself by remembering that he chose her — but once upon a time he chose his first wife, too. If a man cheats over and over with different women he will always cheat: but the sad part the last one got pregnant and later on his wife divorced they tried several times In getting back together he was still sleeping around: then he goes back to one of them that had a baby by him and they get married ; if he cheated multiple times on his first wife he will cheat on the second ; there is no way a man like that can be trusted : and the wife always went after married men broke two homes up what does she expect out of this marriage.

Careful what you wish for and it sucks to be you.

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As a betrayed spouse, I say its your karma. Live with it like I had to. Perhaps that insecurity is because you know just how easy it was for him to be led to another…? I think I know how you feel. When most people meet and date, the courtship before marriage gives you time to get to know you spouse and build trust and if they broke that trust, like not being faithful during their courtship or lying or how they treat others would lead you to decide if you wanted to get married or not to them.

A long time ago I briefly dated a married man, but I did t want him to leave his wife for me cuz I knew he was not trustworthy and he had kids, too guilt provoking. I met someone else 6 months later who had been divorced and was a faithful person, it was such a relief. At any rate your husband probably does love you and its a rare man who will leave his wife for his mistress. You are ruining your marriage and punishing him with your lack of trust. Sure you went through some negatively when he was trying to make up his mind but he married you. I bet this situation put him in a lot of turmoil too but he did the right thing.

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If he was a real womanizer he wouldnt have married you and you need to stop acting like he cheated on you. Your lack of trust will build a wedge between you and have you ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? Are you creating an uncomfortable environment for him that might lead him to want out? Being not trusted all the time is kinda mean. If you really think he is a promiscuous man than leave. But it might surprise you to know that most women get insecure about if husband is faithful from time to time.

None of us can judge the decisions that you made. You met this person, you fell in love and sadly you had to break up one marriage to get to yours. Now you have to decide if this was all worth taking those chances.

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I get sick and tired of women blaming other women for broken marriages. Women stop blaming other women for your broken marriage and this is coming from a woman whose husband left her and married his affair partner.

Do two wrongs make a right? Each spouse is at fault for the breakdown of their marriage.

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It is the cheating spouses fault for making a very poor, immoral and selfish choice. For the OP to be involved is deplorable. When the OP finds this out and continues to stay is sickening…As it put…following the ways of the world.

WHY be apart of a troubled marriage? Why even hurt another human being…children…. It will end up in Divorce most likely. Two mentally and spirituallly unhealthy people…. These OP need to find an unattached person to get involved with…then they might find happiness. I am dating a married man, and am married myself. His behaviors are concerning me thru social media, women being overly friendly etc. We communicate thru Viber and text all the time but our picture bubbles dont show our faces to be safe when txts come up on our phones.

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He recently had a business trip abroad and texted me most of the time but I noticed that he friended a beautiful asian girl on his fb while he was there. Today on his way home flying I noticed that he changed his Viber bubble to show his face…. Also Viber is used for people to communicate internationally. Could it be that he hooked up with this Asian woman and now wants to be able to communicate with her? Am I crazy?

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Am I reading into this too much?? Hi Heather. Once a cheater always a cheater. Think of how your husband must feel he is probably thinking some of the same things that you are. Just like if you are divorced once there is a greater likelihood that you will divorce again… I would suspect that the chances are greater that if you have cheated on someone once then you could do it again.

For some people it is all about the chase and the deception… that is where the excitement is for them.

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Dear Cindy of Rockford, IL. My 3 sons have suffered greatly because of what you and Dave decided to do. Sometimes when you lose you win and sometimes when you win you lose.

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God took this loser away from you…. I pray for healing for you and your family. Success is the best revenge…life is short make the most of it…. Nobody belongs to us everyone is on loan…we all go back to the creator in the end and we go alone. God is your constant and your everything….

Seek ye first tge kingdom of God and he will add everything else. Once I moved past this guy on and off for almost 3 years-he was in a relationship the last 8 months. I became interested in who is now my husband.

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Next to me will be my husband Matt.




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